tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-800945160236063812024-03-13T06:58:28.399+01:00Olaf y MaríaI am capturing the story of my relationship with María to maybe warn others of what kind of people are out there and to highlight some issues in the legal system. It also helps me stay occupied to evade the emotional turmoil I am in by staying occupied.
ES: Escribo la historia de mi relación a María para posiblemente alertar la gente de que tipo de personas hay y para mostrar problemas en la sistema legal. También estoy ocupado así..Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-65462241041486873842014-05-21T10:39:00.001+02:002014-05-21T10:39:21.798+02:00Pain and progress<p dir=ltr>I've been working on my plans and things are really hard. It was really challenging physically so far, but the worst part is the inner pain.</p>
<p dir=ltr>She could be a great woman, but she chooses to be one of the most horrible and pathetic ones. It makes me more than sad, and she apparently enjoys my suffering, treating me the way she does.</p>
<p dir=ltr>And in secretly helping her I kind of help her in her disgusting activities. Still I love her and can't stop neither will the hurt stop.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The worst day of my life will have its birthday soon, and the worst part of my life is ongoing.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0Tauranga, Tauranga-37.687798 176.16513tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-52433337615831856122014-04-02T01:00:00.001+02:002014-04-02T02:28:45.375+02:00Eating lemons<p dir=ltr>This is it, more or less the end of this blog. I have to focus my energies on something useful, all I do here is repeat myself. Of course, there will never be a real end, at some point I'll vent my pain again(and I want to finish the mire useful articles) but it'll be months, maybe years while I focus on my plan, which I hatched on my more and more dangerous journeys. Thank you to my readers especially those who commented.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I had left all my stuff in a village and then hitched a ride to Abel Tasman to spend the day there. When I was at the car park it was too late. The last car took two other hitchhikers who already had been waiting for quite some time. So I walked into the dark, but it was too far. After about two hours of walking I found a farmhouse with light coming from its windows. An old lonely man lived inside, he was very kind and offered a tea and even a room to sleep in for the night. When I left he offered lemons from his lemon tree. Then back in the village I had a lemon for breakfast.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This I realized is the only thing left I can do I think. Eat lemons. It seems Maria really is just a cold abusive and sociopathic monster. She doesn't even possess the kindness to answer my mail. But still I love her. So all I can do now is secretly help her without her ever knowing. At least that way I might be able to make her smile. She doesn't deserve it but it's the only thing I can do to ease my pain a little, apart from suicide. I need her to be happy. It's definitely a monumental waste of time and money, first I have to hire someone to find out what she does now etc. It's going to be one painful <u>road</u> and I don't know if it will be enough, or if I can't take it anymore, that the person I love more than life just used me in some terrible plan. That she prefers to be with idiots and fools, because they are the ones who'll never find out. It's just very sad and painful. Yes this is probably just postponing suicide but maybe in the end I can do some good. She called me her angel and I guess that's what I'll end up being, her secret guardian angel, because Maria I love you and I always will and I am waiting for you until I can't wait <u>anymore</u>.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-64088554235701199872014-03-16T09:44:00.001+01:002014-03-16T09:44:37.225+01:00Sadness<p dir=ltr>I have been waiting, hoping for weeks now. Now there is only infinite sadness. I'll be out probably for a long time now hoping every night in my tent, hoping she'll write.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Off to the track I go.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-27270628236872188342014-02-27T11:08:00.001+01:002014-03-04T10:48:50.285+01:00Dreams<p dir="ltr">I met many kinds of people during my travels and sometimes you meet someone who fought for his dreams and made them come true.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I met a guy who has been traveling for 20 years now and still doesn't want to stop. He is the living example that you don't have to live a life that you hate. That you can make your dreams come true. I wish María would see that, I wish she had been here.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My dream is simple I want to see that smile again. I wrote her a short mail. It was hard and I had tears in my eyes while writing. I don't know if that mail makes her more angry again, but I also just miss her so badly I just want to know how she is. I had to write her. I am terribly afraid but I feel terrible anyway. To complicate things her birthday is coming up.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-FHrklgJFIlA/Uw8Ok729wxI/AAAAAAAABGk/s1600/20140227_093521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-FHrklgJFIlA/Uw8Ok729wxI/AAAAAAAABGk/s640/20140227_093521.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-27960551200098309622014-02-15T10:51:00.001+01:002014-02-15T10:51:02.524+01:00La sonrisa gallega<p dir=ltr>Recuerdo tu sonrisa, María<br>
Es la cosa más bonita en este mundo. Recuerdo ti en mi ventana sonriendo. I think you never realized that you were smiling in that moment. It was the most beautiful thing to see.</p>
<p dir=ltr>You had that same smile on your face when you sat in my arms on a bench.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I wish I had the chance to make you smile like that again.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-65859412400559432152014-02-13T03:59:00.001+01:002014-02-13T22:44:20.768+01:00The wasp and the dragonfly<p dir=ltr>I saw a wasp killing a dragonfly. The dragonfly didn't stand a chance. It was wildly flapping the remaining wings while the wasp was chewing off a wing.<br>
That is a bit how I feel. I know that I can't do anything to fix my life anymore because my happiness is in Maria's hands. <br>
I am just watching it wither away. </p>
<p dir=ltr><u>Sometimes</u> I still flap my wings hoping that she comes around, that she still can believe in something instead of wasting her life away in some office until late at night, but I am getting weaker <u>and</u> weaker feeling like I do now, more and more often just wanting it all to end.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Sometimes I still flap my wings. <br>
Maria, I hope you don't hate me. I guess all I do in life is wrong. I only wanted to be at your side and see you be the best you can be. It was nice to hold you in my arms. It was the nicest thing in the world to kiss you. I won't recover from losing you and to my death I'll miss you. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm waiting for you who forgot me, so that we could be together again.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fnhsdNO37z_Wy1JkRlzhO7jT8GQuTG7VFLe2NhqTkcH0caIMi8bxGM2FHEee2rn8HLXkhD9jNEHmTEmWIwriV-Z-zvEhNxQxWkYKu-7XZ2vZOicqyx2Cgq8uisiJqvRHbBtxpsUkKJQ/s1600/20140213_122252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fnhsdNO37z_Wy1JkRlzhO7jT8GQuTG7VFLe2NhqTkcH0caIMi8bxGM2FHEee2rn8HLXkhD9jNEHmTEmWIwriV-Z-zvEhNxQxWkYKu-7XZ2vZOicqyx2Cgq8uisiJqvRHbBtxpsUkKJQ/s640/20140213_122252.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-8819274950583263722014-02-11T09:54:00.001+01:002014-02-11T09:54:11.834+01:00Her anonymous 'friend'<p dir=ltr>It seems he is getting active <u>again</u>, I received an email from a French provider with the subject line 'your lawyer' in three languages: English, French and Spanish.</p>
<p dir=ltr>However I deleted it without reading it, so I can't know for sure. Would be mighty strange for spam though. I don't even want to think about what that means if it is the anonymous 'friend'.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I wonder if she even still sometimes thinks of me. I guess if she'd even did once a month that she'd had had a very deep emotional connection to me in the end. Still she just threw it all away like I was nothing. I want to fight to get back together but she doesn't let me. She has my unconditional love like she wanted and now I'm here hurt without end waiting and hoping that maybe she has a change of heart and it's at least willing to talk. There are years in my eyes while I'm writing this.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Maria I miss you, I love you more than life and you know that. I'd do everything for you.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-41495772019122922662014-02-07T09:44:00.001+01:002014-02-09T22:55:04.328+01:00The black peak<p dir="ltr">I spent the last two days in solitude(except for an old man I met in one of the huts, I had a break in). I climbed up a peak without taking any water(luckily <u>there</u> was snow, so I had something to drink the snow was awesome actually, I almost wanted to stay longer to 'drink' more) and left my message as you can see in the picture I did the same at a natural shelter (which I dubbed Maria shelter) and in other random places. Silly I know, but it's true. </p>
<p dir="ltr">At least up there on the top the message should stay for a while. It's difficult to get there and not on marked tracks.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Had I died the pain would be over at least. Now I'm writing messages to her that she never will read, feeling worse every day. Oh Maria I wish I could talk to you again and see your beautiful lips moving.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBbipgeapf39f3NVB8J-kA8y5WORzZZHb30vur11jUITuCsKhmWxw0vqWhwvVzIlTiYugosn44koWO-yKyikjFLK1IFV9z8l3RpDzAkr6dnHn-wrHMZqG56A3sxsAEHwKTwCzPPfKsrs/s1600/20140207_112939.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBbipgeapf39f3NVB8J-kA8y5WORzZZHb30vur11jUITuCsKhmWxw0vqWhwvVzIlTiYugosn44koWO-yKyikjFLK1IFV9z8l3RpDzAkr6dnHn-wrHMZqG56A3sxsAEHwKTwCzPPfKsrs/s640/20140207_112939.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8WcHFTm2Cdlr3z1ts5g38K54v2vCqfvNjvencDCnmS3hBNlNzm9UFbZ9YjRu2_zB9uWNon0yl5LNZdyjSvIgfPPrGS0IS50XqIbYsdCyX2TUXg2fjtJaoKjCA7idQeALE6agMNNCw1wg/s1600/20140207_094608.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8WcHFTm2Cdlr3z1ts5g38K54v2vCqfvNjvencDCnmS3hBNlNzm9UFbZ9YjRu2_zB9uWNon0yl5LNZdyjSvIgfPPrGS0IS50XqIbYsdCyX2TUXg2fjtJaoKjCA7idQeALE6agMNNCw1wg/s640/20140207_094608.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-81237910487366626832014-02-05T10:57:00.001+01:002014-02-05T10:57:01.030+01:00Ayer<p dir=ltr>He pasado el día sentado en un silla de piedra en el salvaje pensando en ella.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I wish I could have been sitting there together with her.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd3ExA9_28bTTGXSalaW0ZznN5m3kMBsyIO5MY8fabPpSDTGghs2nRLeNsyHQ8HcHgDaRGKfuL2GftcLQEycX6QHFEOH_A6f_nPBT89zKC5mEWHuUq1ShLaYQZSg05fz583B6PGHNi95g/s1600/20140204_141855.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd3ExA9_28bTTGXSalaW0ZznN5m3kMBsyIO5MY8fabPpSDTGghs2nRLeNsyHQ8HcHgDaRGKfuL2GftcLQEycX6QHFEOH_A6f_nPBT89zKC5mEWHuUq1ShLaYQZSg05fz583B6PGHNi95g/s640/20140204_141855.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-60946907229094456122014-02-03T10:35:00.001+01:002014-02-03T10:35:18.767+01:00That last bit of hope<p dir=ltr>..that I cling to. It's stretched out so thin but it's the only thing that keeps me going.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The whole thing would be hilarious for an observer. She throwing away all her chances, so that she can keep going on down the road to perdition. I wanting to make her happy waiting for her till the end.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Oh <u>Maria</u>, te quiero.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhrYEwNv-8L7HsqUNA2gXCTtTmfHOOCVS85-34GEVEtdpspQ9FmWUTNIxsO9J7Q1gjSUTkRz-VrrcfJSZk-HgTNHWJiQBU1_hQx4gWOGJNJSC7PYz8pyiUoEAnBcgIvmC2CJ8Iw9_dn9A/s1600/20140128_160735.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhrYEwNv-8L7HsqUNA2gXCTtTmfHOOCVS85-34GEVEtdpspQ9FmWUTNIxsO9J7Q1gjSUTkRz-VrrcfJSZk-HgTNHWJiQBU1_hQx4gWOGJNJSC7PYz8pyiUoEAnBcgIvmC2CJ8Iw9_dn9A/s640/20140128_160735.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-61035667346542041392014-01-31T09:49:00.001+01:002014-01-31T09:49:16.006+01:00The little sense it makes<p dir=ltr>I just can't comprehend it. Why is she choosing a life she hates? I offered to talk about things, I'd even be able to deal with her being a sociopath. I want honesty and trust. That's all.</p>
<p dir=ltr>She isn't happy the way things are and I want her to become the best she can get.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Yet still she goes on destroying lives and especially her own and I am left shattered <u>and</u> missing her.<br>
</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-53433027590776653662014-01-29T21:09:00.001+01:002014-01-30T10:31:29.548+01:00Her cold hands<p dir="ltr">Yesterday I was on a mountain that is almost 1800 meters high. It was not the right place though, too easy to reach.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I have free calls to Europe from the hostel I am currently <u>at</u> and I would love to hear her voice, but I don't want to annoy her. It's just a never ending nightmare.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I miss just sitting together arm in arm and kissing. And I really miss her cold hands against my skin.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FK-OG8k9fr_cA0YKQRadXJ11q4SKGVn1Wc9PitTtXgctM6GBJBnUeMZ1h09zQI4fKZuiTMKQpeDUHHwufOb0l9-aNfHfn6yezDh_cHZ8D2UxRRqxoH8uGPSQMud5iumOUG_EA3IfvPM/s1600/20140129_162243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FK-OG8k9fr_cA0YKQRadXJ11q4SKGVn1Wc9PitTtXgctM6GBJBnUeMZ1h09zQI4fKZuiTMKQpeDUHHwufOb0l9-aNfHfn6yezDh_cHZ8D2UxRRqxoH8uGPSQMud5iumOUG_EA3IfvPM/s640/20140129_162243.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-8285110210429126892014-01-21T02:22:00.001+01:002014-01-21T02:22:30.352+01:00A letter to Maria<p dir=ltr>Dear Maria I am writing this letter to you that you will never read.</p>
<p dir=ltr>You have destroyed my life and you have destroyed me. If I even smile nowadays, it's fake. People said it would get better over time, but it really doesn't. Sometimes in the supermarket I just feel miserable. Now I feel like giving up, there seems no point in going on anymore.</p>
<p dir=ltr>All I wanted was to make you happy I don't understand why you did this to me. And I don't understand why you don't even want to talk. We could still make things right. You said your sad face was your normal one, but I think, you know that that isn't true. I've seen that isn't. Do you really want to live like this?</p>
<p dir=ltr>I miss you so much. It hurts too much.<br>
</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-92155319548450740292014-01-19T19:58:00.001+01:002014-01-19T19:58:34.274+01:00All the things she liked<p dir=ltr>I have just come back <u>from</u> a really nice 2 day trip to the mountains. Great views from the summit and walking on ridges. Maria would have loved it, especially because it was really easy to walk.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I met a really nice Aussie family on the trip, the whole family had that gleam of happiness in their eyes. The mother reminded me of Maria in those moments when she was happy.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Now I am doing all the things she likes while she is stuck in her rut, playing away her chance at happiness, but I can't enjoy any of it either because I want to see her happy and hold her.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I think it's soon time to fulfill a promise I made her, only she won't know about it. The mountains here are perfect for it. </p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-3901663021116718452014-01-11T22:42:00.001+01:002014-01-11T22:42:36.792+01:00From nowhere to nowhere<p dir=ltr>I am back, physically at least. I spent all that time in a nowhere which probably is very similar to Galicia, more to remind me of her.<br>
Where am I really though? My mind certainly is not where my body is.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqsF7Uz-E-G_97wJ9WZ6eFvd5QVauVCCjVF7kZHKOMpGPu33oJfhivqPJQBKgQGTyuCwbwRRsW7rhdmZue5uNXho3Fe1kJ4i3L_CfObhTPKDdvbpyiBZawBU9f2YMKvUIkTDbD9P6lDc/s1600/20131229_140508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqsF7Uz-E-G_97wJ9WZ6eFvd5QVauVCCjVF7kZHKOMpGPu33oJfhivqPJQBKgQGTyuCwbwRRsW7rhdmZue5uNXho3Fe1kJ4i3L_CfObhTPKDdvbpyiBZawBU9f2YMKvUIkTDbD9P6lDc/s640/20131229_140508.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl8xG_BX9tJPb50PUskmPIN_AhrgqMlYPdpRIkryX2Jht1YH_RNd5XmFbDUQtnF5f4Wje5xqyx54PNxKQzLCQtaVzb9wl4jIVm0Q1oBCsVAG3eNPHnbEH1bq2_Sr5xKIZMtnnysv1P-II/s1600/20140109_185812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl8xG_BX9tJPb50PUskmPIN_AhrgqMlYPdpRIkryX2Jht1YH_RNd5XmFbDUQtnF5f4Wje5xqyx54PNxKQzLCQtaVzb9wl4jIVm0Q1oBCsVAG3eNPHnbEH1bq2_Sr5xKIZMtnnysv1P-II/s640/20140109_185812.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-80639307181617872562013-12-28T09:51:00.001+01:002013-12-28T10:09:22.426+01:00Going off the grid<p dir=ltr>Tomorrow morning I'll head down to Stewart Island, where I'll be completely off the grid. Maybe the cell phone will still work in the small harbour village but that's it after that I won't have electricity or any <u>comfort</u> I'll spend the new year far away from anyone except the person I carry with me in my heart. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Maria I miss you.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVI5hKtH02pPT5pTo0CIgtUwpP9oeyCLdrbzWnFC8T1Aoo0m3-Ia4SRzt3e3iVf9T6H_VPL4m-qvwk9ErTadcvT6jGZdqqWdMGH5Fxx80JxNYs-fYK1K_Kj6Tu2QshXvS43EBEsHTIHxU/s1600/20131228_141025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVI5hKtH02pPT5pTo0CIgtUwpP9oeyCLdrbzWnFC8T1Aoo0m3-Ia4SRzt3e3iVf9T6H_VPL4m-qvwk9ErTadcvT6jGZdqqWdMGH5Fxx80JxNYs-fYK1K_Kj6Tu2QshXvS43EBEsHTIHxU/s640/20131228_141025.jpg"> </a> </div>Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-27577064763706461352013-12-23T23:44:00.001+01:002013-12-23T23:50:09.287+01:00Mary Christmas<p dir=ltr>It seems auto correct is trying to torture me, this morning Madrid became Maria. Not that I need reminders, because she is in my mind all the time.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Half a year ago I still thought great times were about to begin and after the disaster when I visited my parents I thought she would have liked them a lot, just looking at how many sweets they eat. It could have been great.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Instead I'm now in a hostel where I don't really want to be, instead of the Christmas barbecue people were joking about, all there is here, is rain. Apparently this place is known for its terrible weather, the worst place in the whole country it seems.</p>
<p dir=ltr>So I'll spend the day in the hostel thinking about her, hoping for a Mary Christmas.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-64918634571670903852013-12-15T11:41:00.001+01:002013-12-15T11:41:46.311+01:00Loss<p dir=ltr>It's funny, I lost my wallet on Friday and people told me they know how I feel. I don't think they do. I don't really care about it that much, I lost a good amount of money, my driver's license and some cards, but that's not the part I really care about. The thing that makes this sad for me is that it was something I bought together with Maria.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Maybe I don't really care about these other things because I have lost a lot more this year -her. I am hoping and wishing but today is my birthday and still nothing. </p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-22531225437588340352013-12-11T08:44:00.001+01:002013-12-11T08:44:49.535+01:00Only one thing..<p dir=ltr>It's only a few days left until my birthday, and there is only one thing I am really wishing for.</p>
<p dir=ltr>It's also probably not long now until a little parcel hopefully arrives at it's destination, that is if she even still lives there. I <u>left</u> her a few little things and it wasn't easy to arrange when I left Madrid in kind of a rush, but I hope she won't go on hating me.</p>
<p dir=ltr>There is only one thing I wish for and she probably already has all but forgotten me.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-37417099998890862102013-12-06T20:13:00.001+01:002013-12-07T05:20:28.047+01:00Oops<p dir=ltr>I accidentally posted the articles which were meant for my travel blog here, I'll remove them from here soon and repost them on the right blog. I'll also answer any comment at that point. </p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-46586398845334518592013-12-03T06:46:00.001+01:002013-12-03T06:46:13.417+01:00In Transit<p dir=ltr>Waiting to board at Dubai airport. Free WiFi here doesn't work. So far not many things worked out. </p>
<p dir=ltr>First <u>yesterday</u> there was a traffic congestion. That wasn't much of a problem as the driver took an alternate route and we were like 2 minutes late. I was in luck since the bus stop was at the right terminal. Everything went smooth until I was at the point of baggage drop off. I was told I'd already need to have my visa. Oops. The clerk said she couldn't let me fly without one and wondered why immigration didn't tell people because she had a similar case recently already. After some discussion and calls I bought a <u>ticket</u> so that I could enter on a regular tourist visa. I guess this means I'll have to redo the x-Ray and additional medical checkups. Great. The 100 or so euros for the x Ray wasted. They tried to talk me into a cheap ticket, but I bought a full price one so that I simply can cancel it without incurring a financial loss one I have my wh visa. So finally I could move on to security. Apparently one of the guards had been eyeing me from afar, because as soon as I came closer she started to ask me about my vibram five fingers and <u>was</u> rather flirty. I already had forgotten that people do that and while I answered the five finger questions the rest of the security joined in. At some point after jumping around a bit and answering most of their burning questions. I suddenly realized that I was spending an awful lot of time there and moved to the gate. I was still earlier than the personnel for the boarding though.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Then I waited. We started late because of a shift change in the fueling company.. um yeah. The flight was uneventful I ate salmon and watched movies. Then we arrived late in Dubai and after going through immigration and waiting for the bus I was in my room at 1:xx am local time. Little time for sleep got up at 6:30 am had a super short breakfast, showered and then proceeded to the airport in order to wait. Finally the WiFi sort of works... a little. It is 9:44 the (again) delayed boarding should commence soon. I wanted to book a place to sleep from here but WiFi doesn't work for that. Oh well stopping to write now.<br>
</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-11311293976703571902013-11-30T15:06:00.001+01:002013-11-30T16:09:02.014+01:00Goodbye Europe!I will be leaving Europe on Monday and won't be back for a long time it seems. So I don't know when I will next have the chance to post here. I definitely will at some point, because I see that even after almost half a year she is still in my mind all the time.<br />
I think of her in the morning, and in the evening and when I wake up at night and I just would like to do something nice for her and see her happy.<br />
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In any event, I have added a link to my travel blog on the right, as I'll presumably be posting more often there. Still I am interested in debate around this topic, criticism, suggestions, or hearing the stories of others, or even comments by those who cheated. So tell me what you think!<br />
Note that it should be possible to comment anonymously.Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-49001463636287288372013-11-29T13:52:00.000+01:002013-11-29T15:37:37.552+01:00Cheaters cheat themselves<p dir=ltr>After having decided where you stand, you may want to find out if your suspicions are actually facts. So how can you find out?</p>
<p dir=ltr>Now something you could do would be to read up on personality traits which are common in people who cheat, but this would only be one more indicator and not proof. There are countless options (i.e. you could hire a private eye), but the most simple thing to do is just to wait and watch carefully. While I had an anonymous tipster I suspected cheating for a long time and this even though she was cheating from the beginning. She was giving herself away.<br>
At some point a cheater will stumble over their own lies or attempts to hide their cheating. It's just a matter of time. She was contradicting herself and things were just illogical. Things she said she did are not things she would have done or she even said she would never and did never do things in way in which we actually did them together.<br>
The problem someone who cheats faces is that they need to create an alternative reality and in doing so they <b>will </b>get lost in that reality at some point. They probably start to believe parts of it themselves because (most) people's brains simply can't handle this and so false memories are created and they might even start telling you that they are like this or that when they aren't. Cheaters cheat themselves and so give themself away and deprive themself of real happiness.</p>
<p dir=ltr>So just be yourself and watch your partner carefully.<br></p>
<p dir=ltr>P.S. Just the fact that you are suspecting probably means you are on to something. Trust your senses! Often people try to make you doubt them, telling you just imagined something or similar. The truth however is that you are more often right than wrong when you heard or saw or smelled something. Humans probably wouldn't have gotten very far if their senses were as bad as some people try to make you believe.</p>
Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-47199749048584689672013-11-24T20:21:00.000+01:002013-11-25T21:46:21.864+01:00Creeping suspicions<br />
This post talks about the first steps to take when suspicions arise<br />
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So you are suspecting that you are being cheated and you want to know what's going on. However that is probably not what you want to do right now. You don't want to end up doing something you will regret later on. You probably don't want to end up like a colleague I had.<br />
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This colleague always said I should forget María and move on and all sorts of not so nice things about María. One day however my colleague admitted that she split up with a guy more than 5 years ago and she was still scouring the net for information on what he was doing. She said that was just curiosity. Move forward a few weeks and her ex apparently had started a new relationship with some girl and suddenly my colleague was totally shattered and super sad(even though she has a new boyfriend). So I don't know if she never realized it herself or if she just pretended to not care anymore, but she obviously still cares very much about him. I learned from quite a few people that they are in a similar boat. Everyone seems to pretend that they are all fine and dandy but when something bad happens to you and you are honest about how you feel, suddenly everyone slowly comes forth with that ex they really miss, like I miss María.<br />
This is why you should first carefully think about where you want to go if your suspicions are true.<br />
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I didn't do that, I was completely unprepared and so made mistakes I could have avoided. The moment you actually know that your partner is cheating you, things are completely different and suddenly all these emotions will come and cloud your judgment and then when you confront your partner, it will be even worse.<br />
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Look at yourself and your relationship. Is your partner someone you would see yourself missing? Just don't end up realizing that one day while you find yourself 'just being curious about your ex'...<br />
<br />Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80094516023606381.post-23634287405630514842013-11-05T13:02:00.002+01:002013-11-05T13:02:48.639+01:00Now and thenI hope that one day the blog could be a joint blog by Maria and I, being together again. In reality however I haven't heard or seen anything from her for quite some time now and I think the best thing I can do is wait and see if she approaches me, who knows what crazy thing would happen next, if I tried(although now that I am not in Spain I should be quite safe). <br />
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So I will try and make the best I can of this blog. I read a lot about cheating and cheaters and what the best way to handle the situation is when you are the victim and decided I want to discuss the possibilty of saving a relationship after you find out that you have been cheated. It would also be nice to hear opinions from others who maybe are even in a similar situation.<br />
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In the next weeks I'll also see if I find the time to work on my travel blog again before I actually go for the next big adventure in december.Olafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07556104127784445146noreply@blogger.com0